Teaching My Nervous System It's Safe to Be Seen

Recently I’ve been following what scares me while still honoring what’s authentic to my heart. This means I’ve been speaking up for myself when I feel outspoken, allowing myself to take up space when I feel inferior, extending a hand when it seems right—but not overextending. Overall, putting myself first.

This has been the most terrifying experience for my nervous system. It thinks we are at war. In reality, I’m learning to let go of working myself up, doubting whether my words matter, valuing others above myself, and constantly anticipating rejection. I’m learning to choose stillness and surrender instead. When the inferior inner monologue starts, I acknowledge it—but I also talk to myself out loud to calm my sensory overload. I'm letting go of old belief systems that my nervous system finds solace in— and while my voice still shakes, my eyes still pool with tears of frustration, it won’t stop me from speaking my truth.

One of the hardest lessons I’m going through is learning to allow myself to be seen. On top of that, I’m learning who is worthy of my energy and distancing myself from those I have to practically beg to be seen by.

Let me rephrase that: You shouldn’t have to shove yourself down someone’s throat to be seen. You don’t have to be the one to always reach out, check in, or show up—especially when they rarely do the same for you. Return that energy to yourself. You’re not meant for everyone, just like not everyone is meant for you—and that is okay.

When you trust yourself—when you show up with grace, authenticity, and kindness—it’s not your fault when others don’t see it. It doesn’t mean you’re worthless. People only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves. It’s not your burden to carry or your responsibility to question your own worth just because it wasn’t recognized.

Unfortunately, I’m still teaching my nervous system that lesson. To take it even further, you don't need the validation of people who make you work hard to be seen to prove to yourself that you're worthy of love. You just have to show up for yourself.

I was once told to follow my fear—and I agree with that. I don’t mean fear in the sense of danger or toxic cycles. I mean the kind that’s invigorating—the kind that leads you to grow, expand, and become better than you were yesterday.

Like me starting this blog, for example.

This blog is a testament to the loyalty I have to myself and my vulnerability. It’s a gift I’m not afraid to share—even if sometimes it genuinely makes me feel like I’m going to shit myself. And when that voice comes in—the one that says I’ll never get anywhere, that my words, my work, and who I am don’t matter—that’s when I sit with myself in silence and let the words flow. That’s when I sit with my triggers, so I can work through them.

Which leads me here.

If you show up as yourself and get rejected, just know you’re being redirected somewhere better for you. You have to trust that. Have the confidence to show up as you—even when no one sees you, even on the days the work feels worthless, even when you think it’ll never pay off.

It will.