Approaching My Quarter Life Crisis🤠✨

I do my best to keep it real with myself. And the truth is: I’m at a crossroads. As 25 nears, I’ve been checking in—am I building the life I want?

For years, I dreamed of the stability I never had growing up. Now that I have it… it feels fine.

And that’s the problem. It’s just fine.

I don’t say that because I crave the chaos of instability. I say it because I know I deserve more. I want to be lit from within, to feel like lightning has struck my body—or honestly? That I am the fucking lightning.

I’ve outsourced myself for so long that I wondered: maybe I feel bored because I was addicted to toxic cycles?

But the truth is: you’ll never feel peace in a place that isn’t meant for you.

And there’s no reason to keep holding yourself to old, outdated standards once you’ve outgrown them.

Sometimes there’s no explaining things—you just know.

So what kind of life do you want?

Do you want a life that’s just fine, or do you crave more?

Do you want to know yourself deeper than you ever thought possible?

Do you want to experience all of life… or just what’s okay?

I’m so tired of outsourcing myself to people.

So tired of being strong. Of constantly keeping up my endurance.

Of feeling like my only purpose is to care for everyone—at the cost of myself.

And worst of all: that most of my good traits as a person seem to come from my grit and caretaking.

Like my worth means nothing unless I’m over-giving and handling everything in strength. 

It’s exhausting.

I don’t want to fight anymore. The white flag has been drawn.

I just want to be me.

And truthfully, I don’t even fully know who that is—because I’ve spent so long putting others first.

But I do know that it’s possible to wear your heart on your sleeve without pouring it into everyone’s hands.

So what do you do with that?

I’ve been in a silent internal battle for a long time. And it’s mine to win.

No one else can save me—nor should they.

But I don’t really know how to navigate the change, even though the shift is screaming inside me.

I can’t even tell you how painfully frustrating it is to show up every single day without a clue what your purpose is—just hoping it finds you.

I’m trying so hard to honor my truth, even when I don’t know where it’s leading.

So for now, I follow the people who light me up.

I follow the places that give me peace.

While I struggle to find myself, I let the people and places I love lead me.

It’s human not to have all the answers.

I mean, God—look at this life.

How blessed we are to even be here.

How grateful I am to exist at the same time as the people I love.

To grow alongside them. To watch them get older. To take their wisdom and carry it forward with me.

And maybe that’s what I’m here for.

To alchemize whatever it is I’ve learned.

To learn. To honor. To lead.

I’m learning as I go.

I don’t have all the answers—but I’ve survived every hard day I’ve lived.

And now?

It’s time to build a life not just lived,

but one where I’m truly embraced and held with love— wherever that may lead me.